Patience: the ability or capacity to tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset; quiet, steady perseverance.
Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths.
The biggest thing I’ve had to acknowledge over the last 6 months or so is that I have very little patience; very little tolerance to delay, trouble or suffering. No one wants to go through hard times. But, the realization that I have next to no patience has also forced me to recognize that I’m not trusting in the Lord the way I should be. I’ve ignored the absolute wonderful things he’s done for me over the last 6 months, or, more importantly, throughout my life – like finally being pulled aside and recognized beyond words at work for working really hard and being good at what I do, or for the ability to support myself and my husband as he continues to chase his dream. It’s easy to ignore all the good stuff and all the blessings. God is right there. He’s always been there for me – through the hard times and the awesome times. Life is a journey – it’s not about skipping the bad parts and going right to the good parts. How is character built then? Through trials and tribulations and perseverance. There’s something he wants me to learn here, to gain from, to grow from…
The Bible tells us that if we fully trust in Him, He will carry us. God has as much of a plan for me and my husband now as he did when I considered us to be in a “perfect place.” It’s cliche, but it’s about the journey. As my husband continues to fight to break into his dream career, and as I continue to carry us (wearing and exhausting as it can be), there’s a lot of character that is being built here. I’m so thankful for the rock, solid foundation our relationship is built on, for our ability to be resilient, for our ability to argue, to cry together, to acknowledge, “OK, this is hard,” but be able to love each other so much underneath all of it, to persevere together, to walk the road together is awesome. I’m desperately ready to close this chapter of our lives, but God usually has other plans, so I’ll buckle in for the ride.
I’m a work in progress. I’ll always be a work in progress. God is working on my patience. He’s working on my ability to truly trust in Him. He’s made that very clear. God is such a show off though – He has absolutely come through during this time. I’ve been in awe of the things He’s done for us over the last 6 months. When I’m totally worn down and beat up, He reminds me that it’ll be OK. Ah, the power of HOPE in the Lord.