Does anyone else have a difficult time keeping in touch with friends? Or perhaps feel as though they are terrible at keeping in touch when in reality they really aren’t so bad at it? Or maybe it really is just me.
Of course, long-distance friends are the hardest to keep in touch with because there isn’t that chance that you’ll run into them while you’re running errands. However, I’ve found it difficult to keep in touch with friends that live in the same state as me more and more.
Since graduating from college and law school, I’ve lost that constant guaranteed scheduling of seeing friends on a daily basis. I work full-time, and I am married (sans kids, for now), and I’ve become comfortable in my routine. My weeks are jammed with working 40-45 hours a week, and I feel like something huge is missing if I don’t make it to the gym for an hour three days a week. There’s also cooking dinner, church, and volunteering, and…..And then, when the wonderful weekends come, I enjoy spending them with my husband, and I’m a huge lover of quiet recharging. Gone are the days of going out partying, and I’ve altered my lifestyle a lot since focusing on my relationship with God.
I love my friends dearly, and I try to make an effort to text to say hello or set up a dinner date or happy hour. I do feel like I do my best at juggling everything, but sometimes I lose track of time and sometimes lose touch. However, I must remember that relationships are not a one way street. Friendships take two parties, and it should never be on one person to initiate contact all the time. I’ll admit, I’m terrible with the phone. The only person I ever talk to is my mom, and I can tell many of my friends prefer the text messaging or e-mail route anyway. It’s not just me.
Losing touch is also a product of life. Friendships must mature because we grow up. The way we like to spend our time changes, and our proprieties morph. It’s odd how times change. How we grow to value family much more and our personal free time. The friends that made gigantic, lasting impressions on our lives are usually the ones to stay around, regardless as to how often you “stay in touch.” I would never, ever get upset at a friend who got caught up in life and didn’t keep in touch often because I, too, allow that to happen. I understand, and quite frankly, life is way too short to hold that kind of childish grudge. I’m at the age where family is my priority. Most of my friends are married and have children, are expecting, or trying to have children, and that’s how life works. Their lives are filled with working and rushing children to and from, and focusing on their marriages and careers. There is less time in the day, or so it seems, and there isn’t much time for anything else. I want to always be that friend who is understanding and can pick up with anyone right where we left off. The fact of the matter is that keeping in touch is hard for everyone, no matter how you slice it, and as we all become older our focus shifts, and that’s okay. Any kind of relationship takes work, but I believe in understanding, and I know things change.