Marriage is about compromise. It’s about give and take, trust, and unconditional love. It’s also about supporting the other person’s dreams and allowing them to grow.
I’ve been waiting awhile to write about this impending and terrifyingly life altering decision, but I was forced to ultimate secrecy by my husband until word was public and live.
So, here we go: my husband, Dan, put in his two week notice at his job yesterday to concentrate on his MBA program and networking opportunities at one of the top schools in the country. He’s determined to make a bit of a career change within the financial sector.
I’m unbelievably terrified because Dan was our household’s breadwinner by a large margin considering I am just now starting in my career in the public sector. There won’t be any huge traveling adventures in the near future to conserve our savings, and I’m definitely going to miss the capability of saving a large part of Dan’s salary (because there won’t be saving any of my salary), but what I’m so blessed to be able to say is that our savings, my health/vision/dental insurance, and my salary will support both us for a good chunk of time.
I’m excited because we’ve planned for this moment financially just as we did my entrance and journey through one of the most expensive decisions of my life: law school. I’m also excited because I have all the faith in the world in my husband who is more than capable of shining brightly in school and in front of potential employers for internships and his next job. He also has this zest and hunger for learning like a young child starting kindergarten. It’s really quite adorable to see how excited he is about his next adventure. I’m glad to be able to take part in this journey called life with him. For those who don’t know much about my husband, he’s incredibly intelligent, highly analytic, and he’s such a fast learner. He has a bachelors degree in actuarial science and began his career as an actuary in the insurance industry almost 6 years ago. He spent the last 3.5 years as an insurance consultant utilizing many of his actuarial skills with an insurance software firm. I’m not very good at explaining what he wants to do next, but I do know he wants to be on more in the front end of the financial industry. I can’t wait to see where he ends up after school.
I’m also excited because I know God is working on me through this experience. I’m constrained constantly by my worries over money. I find comfort in saving as much as possible, solace in contributing to a 401k, and security in keeping spending down to minimum as much as possible. Sometimes my fear of money is crippling, and I have prayed for some alleviation–this unhealthy holding onto an earthly possession so hard that it holds me back and blindsides me. Money isn’t going to mean a thing when we’re standing before God. So, I’m taking this experience in stride, but not stupidly. If we stick to the budget I’ve outlined, which isn’t too much of a difference to our spending habits now, we are more than capable of maintaining our current lifestyle until Dan finds his next gig, which should be in a little less than 2 years factoring in the job search process. Dan’s in a much better industry than I am, and he’s going to a really great school. I struggled immensely in finding work after law school. I also was interested in pursuing an alternative legal career so that made the search a bit more complicated. The budget that I’ve set up will mean slightly dipping into savings each month because we’re trying to keep heavily paying off my loan debt, but we knew this was going to happen so we saved to make up the difference. Of course, this isn’t taking into consideration any loan debt we’ll take on from Dan’s MBA program, but that’ll be another hurdle we’ll work through together later on. Yeah, loan debt sucks.
Dan has supported me and loved me through everything: a terrible economy after undergrad with a less than desirable degree at the time, the roller coaster of law school, the bar exam, the whirlwind of finding a job after that fit my skill set and passion, under-employment, you name it. It’s my turn to take the reigns and support my husband. Dan, it’s your turn to chase your dreams, and I’ll be standing right next to you the whole time. Go get em’, Tiger!